The past year

Since November of 2009, we have been fighting to get Dylan back and safe. We have had trial after trial waiting and praying for the judge to make a final decision on where Dylan will live.

In April 2010 Dan and I again had to travel to New York, this time for a 2 day trial where we discovered what was really happening in Danny and Dylan's lives while we were away. We found out that Dan's Ex and her husband had been charged with neglect on numerous occasions, in fact Mary's husband lost custody of his own child because of his neglect and abuse. The children were taken out of their custody and we were NEVER once notified, we never received a phone call, we never received a letter from the state of NY. Their were too many police calls and neglect charges to even count, and in January of 2009 when Mary called us to tell us her mother was moving in with her because her husband was leaving was actually because Mary tried to kill herself in front of the children (Danny called 911 to save her) and she was court ordered to have someone help her. During this same time period Dan's Ex had arranged to have her nephew take care of the children while she worked long hours and did extra work with Toys for Tots. Her nephew was a registered sex offender, we were also never made aware of that! We were beyond horrified with all we learned about during the trial, Dan and I have been sick to our stomachs about it ever since. If we had known, if we had ever been notified we would have flown there, we would have saved them.

Dan's Ex was again charged with neglect after her psychiatric break in November, she decided that she would stop taking her anti-depressants and that's what swung her into her mental break down. The state of New York charged her with neglect which she eventually plead guilty to for a plea bargain of one years probation.

After Dyan went back to New York she kept us from speaking to him at all, she wouldn't answer our phone calls and wouldn't give Dylan any of the letters we sent. We finally had to call his school just to talk to him to make sure he was ok. We filed another petition with the judge to order her to let us speak with Dylan and we were finally able to talk to him, but he has been very angry with us. I can't help but feel we have let him down.

Every month we have had some sort of trial for the past year, each costing us $1,000 in lawyers costs. We have spent over $20,000 since the beginning of all of this. Dan's Ex had a court appointed attorney and hasn't had to pay a dime. We are emotionally and financially drained.

Today was the final hearing, the judge ruled in favor of Dan's Ex her explanation was the we are the better parents "on paper" as in we have a stable marriage, a loving family, we own our home, but this is what Dylan knows. He knows chaos and has lived in it for so long, that she just wants to keep him in it. Is this what is best for the child? I thought our court systems were supposed to do whats in the best interest of the child! The State of NY has let this little boy down time and time again. How many times are they going to drop the ball? We have already lost one son, and we just want Dylan and his sisters to be safe. This judge chose to leave Dylan and his sisters in this horrible situation because this is what he knows. When our lawyer argued these points her response was that if we don't like her decision we can appeal. After dragging this whole trial out for a year, we absolutely can not financially afford to appeal at this point. She had all the power to save Dylan and his sisters and she threw it away because chaos is what they know. Dan and I are devastated yet again and we don't know where to turn.