My sister and some family are putting together an event to help us raise some money for our struggle! JUNE 4TH 2011 PRAIRIE OAKS PARK , COONRAPIDS MN.
All of the support is more than we could have ever hoped for. All of the contact information for this event will be below on this post. Thanks again for all of your prayer and support. To know that so many people are willing to listen and even help is just amazing and an answer to our prayers. Dylan seems to be doing ok when we get to talk to him. But he is still not thriving like he so deserves
dylandashinfo@yahoo.com
Sharon (White) Anderson
Event Coordinator
763-227-7229
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Thanks Child Protective Services!
Well Dan called Child Protective Services to get an update on what happened and what they found in regards to the most recent fire. They told Dan that his Ex didn't have a regular lock on her door, and apparently there had been a lot of break ins in her area so she pad locked the door from the outside locking her three children and the babysitter inside the apartment. To make matters worse the babysitter didn't have a phone, so when the apartment underneath them started on fire they were all basically sitting ducks until someone broke the door down. Child Protective Services isn't going to take the children out of this situation though, they are just going to visit her twice a week now, they were already doing once a week scheduled visits when this happened. We are so beyond frustrated at this point and really don't know what else to do, what will it take to get these children out of this home?!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
New Development
So we have another development, Dan received a letter from Child Protective Services in New York a few weeks ago and it basically said that there was another charge and investigation against his ex wife. He tried and tried to reach someone to find out what happened this time and to see if he could get and update. Finally this past week he was able to talk with someone, it turns out that the apartment building that Dylan and his sisters are living in had a fire. The fire occurred in the apartment directly below their apartment, the flames were so high that they reached the widows of Dylan's apartment. This would not have been so horrible, but then we found out that the children were locked in the apartment and Dan's Ex was not home. Their was supposedly a babysitter in the apartment with the kids but she was unable to open the door. The children sat in the burning building screaming for help, finally a neighbor realized that the kids were stuck and ran inside and kicked down their door.
We are unsure who called Child Protective Services but we are thankful someone realized this was completely insane! Of course we didn't hear about this from Dan's Ex but we heard about this from the state of New York, I am so incredibly scared for Dylan and so irritated that he and his poor sisters are stuck in this situation! Please help us get him back, we need your help to save him from this!
We are unsure who called Child Protective Services but we are thankful someone realized this was completely insane! Of course we didn't hear about this from Dan's Ex but we heard about this from the state of New York, I am so incredibly scared for Dylan and so irritated that he and his poor sisters are stuck in this situation! Please help us get him back, we need your help to save him from this!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
What we need
My husband and I need your help, we are financially and emotionally broken. I don't know how we can pay off this $20,000 debt that we have racked up over the past year. I am hoping that there are enough wonderful people out there that would be willing to help even a little bit, we just want to pay off the debt and every cent that is donated will go towards that. If we can get this paid off it will at least give us hope that we can someday appeal this judges horrible decision. Please if you can find it in your heart to donate to us we would be forever grateful, and you would really change our lives!
Dylan and his sister deserve a safe life, a life free of domestic violence,and fear. A life where they know that they can live safely and secure, where they are loved unconditionally. Dylan has had to be a chameleon he has had to change to survive in every situation. We want him to have a life where he can thrive, not just survive. Every child deserves that chance.
I will keep updating our blog letting you all know what is happening with Dylan, making sure you all know what we know. Thank you for your interest in our story and please remember Dylan and his sisters in your prayers.
Dylan and his sister deserve a safe life, a life free of domestic violence,and fear. A life where they know that they can live safely and secure, where they are loved unconditionally. Dylan has had to be a chameleon he has had to change to survive in every situation. We want him to have a life where he can thrive, not just survive. Every child deserves that chance.
I will keep updating our blog letting you all know what is happening with Dylan, making sure you all know what we know. Thank you for your interest in our story and please remember Dylan and his sisters in your prayers.
The past year
Since November of 2009, we have been fighting to get Dylan back and safe. We have had trial after trial waiting and praying for the judge to make a final decision on where Dylan will live.
In April 2010 Dan and I again had to travel to New York, this time for a 2 day trial where we discovered what was really happening in Danny and Dylan's lives while we were away. We found out that Dan's Ex and her husband had been charged with neglect on numerous occasions, in fact Mary's husband lost custody of his own child because of his neglect and abuse. The children were taken out of their custody and we were NEVER once notified, we never received a phone call, we never received a letter from the state of NY. Their were too many police calls and neglect charges to even count, and in January of 2009 when Mary called us to tell us her mother was moving in with her because her husband was leaving was actually because Mary tried to kill herself in front of the children (Danny called 911 to save her) and she was court ordered to have someone help her. During this same time period Dan's Ex had arranged to have her nephew take care of the children while she worked long hours and did extra work with Toys for Tots. Her nephew was a registered sex offender, we were also never made aware of that! We were beyond horrified with all we learned about during the trial, Dan and I have been sick to our stomachs about it ever since. If we had known, if we had ever been notified we would have flown there, we would have saved them.
Dan's Ex was again charged with neglect after her psychiatric break in November, she decided that she would stop taking her anti-depressants and that's what swung her into her mental break down. The state of New York charged her with neglect which she eventually plead guilty to for a plea bargain of one years probation.
After Dyan went back to New York she kept us from speaking to him at all, she wouldn't answer our phone calls and wouldn't give Dylan any of the letters we sent. We finally had to call his school just to talk to him to make sure he was ok. We filed another petition with the judge to order her to let us speak with Dylan and we were finally able to talk to him, but he has been very angry with us. I can't help but feel we have let him down.
Every month we have had some sort of trial for the past year, each costing us $1,000 in lawyers costs. We have spent over $20,000 since the beginning of all of this. Dan's Ex had a court appointed attorney and hasn't had to pay a dime. We are emotionally and financially drained.
Today was the final hearing, the judge ruled in favor of Dan's Ex her explanation was the we are the better parents "on paper" as in we have a stable marriage, a loving family, we own our home, but this is what Dylan knows. He knows chaos and has lived in it for so long, that she just wants to keep him in it. Is this what is best for the child? I thought our court systems were supposed to do whats in the best interest of the child! The State of NY has let this little boy down time and time again. How many times are they going to drop the ball? We have already lost one son, and we just want Dylan and his sisters to be safe. This judge chose to leave Dylan and his sisters in this horrible situation because this is what he knows. When our lawyer argued these points her response was that if we don't like her decision we can appeal. After dragging this whole trial out for a year, we absolutely can not financially afford to appeal at this point. She had all the power to save Dylan and his sisters and she threw it away because chaos is what they know. Dan and I are devastated yet again and we don't know where to turn.
In April 2010 Dan and I again had to travel to New York, this time for a 2 day trial where we discovered what was really happening in Danny and Dylan's lives while we were away. We found out that Dan's Ex and her husband had been charged with neglect on numerous occasions, in fact Mary's husband lost custody of his own child because of his neglect and abuse. The children were taken out of their custody and we were NEVER once notified, we never received a phone call, we never received a letter from the state of NY. Their were too many police calls and neglect charges to even count, and in January of 2009 when Mary called us to tell us her mother was moving in with her because her husband was leaving was actually because Mary tried to kill herself in front of the children (Danny called 911 to save her) and she was court ordered to have someone help her. During this same time period Dan's Ex had arranged to have her nephew take care of the children while she worked long hours and did extra work with Toys for Tots. Her nephew was a registered sex offender, we were also never made aware of that! We were beyond horrified with all we learned about during the trial, Dan and I have been sick to our stomachs about it ever since. If we had known, if we had ever been notified we would have flown there, we would have saved them.
Dan's Ex was again charged with neglect after her psychiatric break in November, she decided that she would stop taking her anti-depressants and that's what swung her into her mental break down. The state of New York charged her with neglect which she eventually plead guilty to for a plea bargain of one years probation.
After Dyan went back to New York she kept us from speaking to him at all, she wouldn't answer our phone calls and wouldn't give Dylan any of the letters we sent. We finally had to call his school just to talk to him to make sure he was ok. We filed another petition with the judge to order her to let us speak with Dylan and we were finally able to talk to him, but he has been very angry with us. I can't help but feel we have let him down.
Every month we have had some sort of trial for the past year, each costing us $1,000 in lawyers costs. We have spent over $20,000 since the beginning of all of this. Dan's Ex had a court appointed attorney and hasn't had to pay a dime. We are emotionally and financially drained.
Today was the final hearing, the judge ruled in favor of Dan's Ex her explanation was the we are the better parents "on paper" as in we have a stable marriage, a loving family, we own our home, but this is what Dylan knows. He knows chaos and has lived in it for so long, that she just wants to keep him in it. Is this what is best for the child? I thought our court systems were supposed to do whats in the best interest of the child! The State of NY has let this little boy down time and time again. How many times are they going to drop the ball? We have already lost one son, and we just want Dylan and his sisters to be safe. This judge chose to leave Dylan and his sisters in this horrible situation because this is what he knows. When our lawyer argued these points her response was that if we don't like her decision we can appeal. After dragging this whole trial out for a year, we absolutely can not financially afford to appeal at this point. She had all the power to save Dylan and his sisters and she threw it away because chaos is what they know. Dan and I are devastated yet again and we don't know where to turn.
November 2009
Right before Thanksgiving 2009 we got a phone call from the Department of Family Services in New York. The women told Dan that Mary had had a psychiatric break down and was hospitalized against her will for three days and that all the children were place in foster care. We had no idea where Dylan was and we had no way of getting a hold of him. Dan immediately flew to New York to meet with the judge to get temporary custody of Dylan, the lawyer that was assigned to Dylan tried to get to the judge to make Dylan stay in New York with his maternal grandmother. After a lot of debate the judge gave Dan temporary custody of Dylan and at the same time Dan filed for sole custody of his son.
Dan brought Dylan home just in time for Thanksgiving and it was absolutely wonderful to have him home we had the opportunity to make a lot more memories. He was enrolled in school here and we spent all of the holidays together. It was by far the best Christmas we had ever had, we morned that Danny wasn't with us but we were over joyed to have Dylan home safe and sound! We loved every minute of it!
Unfortunately the courts and had to reevaluate Dan's Ex's mental status and she was deemed suitable to have her children back, the judge forced us to give Dylan back at the end of January 2010. It was a horrible day, Dylan cried and begged us not to make him go and we all cried and prayed that he would be home with us again soon.
Dan brought Dylan home just in time for Thanksgiving and it was absolutely wonderful to have him home we had the opportunity to make a lot more memories. He was enrolled in school here and we spent all of the holidays together. It was by far the best Christmas we had ever had, we morned that Danny wasn't with us but we were over joyed to have Dylan home safe and sound! We loved every minute of it!
Unfortunately the courts and had to reevaluate Dan's Ex's mental status and she was deemed suitable to have her children back, the judge forced us to give Dylan back at the end of January 2010. It was a horrible day, Dylan cried and begged us not to make him go and we all cried and prayed that he would be home with us again soon.
Dylan for the summer
Dylan came to stay with us and the end of June 2009. He was sad and broken about losing his brother, they were best friends and his life was changed forever. As the days went on Dan and I noticed a lot of anger in Dylan, and as we discussed things with him we found out that he had actually witnessed his brother being hit by the car. Not only had he witnessed his brother dying about he also started to disclose to us about the abuse that he and his brother had endured by his step-father. Dan and I were heart broken, we had no idea that any of that had been going on. When Dan tried to discuss it with his Ex she denied it all, she told us that she didn't want to call Dylan a liar but she didn't think anything bad had ever happened to the boys.
As difficult as the transition was during the summer Dylan was thriving, he was enjoying the freedom able to be a 6 year old boy. He was able to feel safe and secure and he was able to be himself.
We made a lot of memories and had a lot of fun while Dylan was here, we had camp fires and roasted marshmallows, we went swimming and enjoyed everyday we had together. We loved having Dylan all summer but also felt bad that we had let him and Danny down by not getting them out of that situation. At the end of the summer we had to let Dylan go back to New York with his mother as much as it pained us to do it we still had no proof of any of the things that Dylan told us. So at the end of August Dylan got on a plane back to New York. We promised him that we would call everyday and keep in contact as much as we could.
When he got back we did call everyday, but a lot of the time the phone wasn't answered and the majority of the time we didn't get a call back. Then in November of 2009 we received another horrible phone call.
We made a lot of memories and had a lot of fun while Dylan was here, we had camp fires and roasted marshmallows, we went swimming and enjoyed everyday we had together. We loved having Dylan all summer but also felt bad that we had let him and Danny down by not getting them out of that situation. At the end of the summer we had to let Dylan go back to New York with his mother as much as it pained us to do it we still had no proof of any of the things that Dylan told us. So at the end of August Dylan got on a plane back to New York. We promised him that we would call everyday and keep in contact as much as we could.
When he got back we did call everyday, but a lot of the time the phone wasn't answered and the majority of the time we didn't get a call back. Then in November of 2009 we received another horrible phone call.
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